I am only a facet of Seleski.
I'm not sure of the reason for this journal. After all, if I continue on my mission, then no one I have ever known will still exist to read it. Many years will pass before I am through. Perhaps I record these thoughts for Gayle, the only woman I have loved.
Or maybe I'm doing it to keep sane here in the depths of space.
Regardless of the motivation, I feel the need to store these thoughts and feelings.
Days or years, it is difficult to realize exactly how long I have traveled. If it weren't for the constant mental link I have maintained with my other self, the Solar of Earth, I would not be able to account for time.
He and I split in two, quite literally. We had been pulling at each other constantly -- he wanting only to regain some semblance of his humanity with Gayle, and I, with my all-encompassing rage, to destroy the spider-like alien race that sought to consume the people of the earth.
One man with the power of a god. A living dichotomy. In the end, there was no other choice. We had to split.
Now, I am the living embodiment of Phil Seleski's anger and hatred. But I still carry his mind within my own. I feel all of his joy...
...and his pain.
Upon our division, I knew that I must be single-minded in my obsession. After all, I was sacrificing my humanity to destroy the creatures who had invaded my world.
My only hope would be to strike them at their source...to find their homeworld.
As I left the Earth's atmosphere, seeking to find any clue as to their place of origin, I passed the moon. It was there, on the dark side, that the aliens had entrenched themselves, waiting for reinforcements before attacking Earth again.
It was that pocket of resistance that I destroyed with the help of a former prisoner of the aliens, X-O Manowar, who stole their greatest weapon; a Manowar class armor.
Looking back, it occurs to me that the uniform I now wear I subconsciously patterned after X-O's armor, to strike a greater fear in the aliens.
I headed deeper into space, moving toward Saturn, where I first fought the terrible spider creatures. They had been routinely kidnapping human beings for centuries, breeding them on their ships, performing unspeakable genetic experiments upon their bodies and finally, eating them.
They destroyed hundreds of human lives in an act of bravado. All to show me that they were not to be taken lightly.
That was a mistake.
In my ensuing rage, I destroyed an entire fleet of their invading warrior ships. Their hive minds sent out a desperate plea warning the rest of their race of the strange energy creature with the power of a dark god.
I have found traces of their travels on Titan, IO and other satellites on our solar system, but it wasn't until traveling to a planet with a distant sun that I discovered just how far these creatures had come.
From beyond Centauri, dozens of light years away, they had traveled, seeking the perfect food source and a green planet to worship. They had found it in Earth.
Now I have entwined with a strange, immobile crystal life-force that encountered the spider-kind long ago. They had no means of reaching their enemies, but full knowledge of their whereabouts, and I, the exact opposite. We were perfectly suited. With the crystals acting as a guide, perhaps I will soon reach their homeworld.
Here in the vast void of outer space, I have had time to reflect. I know I am traveling such a great distance that Gayle will, at the very least, be an old woman when I complete this dreadful task.
But, I wonder. One night when she looks to the sky and sees the brightly burning remains of a distant alien outpost, shining like a newborn star...
...will she think of me?